Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Its been a while, but I need to update for prayers

My dear friend Trudie is an amazing mother that I have had the pleasure of knowing for over 4 years now. She has 4 boys and 1 girls and was amazed to find out she was expecting again, she had a few scares in the beginning, but everything was fine. She went yesterday for her gender scan and discovered that her little boy had died a few days prior. She is being induced today to deliver Hudson Zachary and they will make plans from there. Trudie lives across the globe in Australia, so if you can spare some prayers for her, I would greatly appreciate it. And those of you who have been in similar situations, please let me know if she can contact you. God Bless you Trudie. Praying so hard for you sweetheart.

Monday, April 27, 2009

It is National Infertility Awareness Week!



Thanks to a friend I met on facebook, Amy Hibbard from VA, I am now aware that this week - April 25-May 2 is National Infertility Awareness Week. Amy and I are both infertility survivors. If you are someone suffering from infertility or know someone suffering from it... reach out or reach out to them. Infertility is a lonely, isolating process that consumes your life at the time you are going through. Please know there is hope and to never give up on your dreams. I love my infertility gals and even though I have my girls, I will never forget the need and ache in my heart until I had them in my arms.

Thinking of all the infertility couples fighting the battle right now. Love, baby dust and prayers to all.

Beck
Infertility and Multiple Miscarriage Survivor 2001-2006
Angel Babies May 2002 8 weeks, Nov. 2004 11 weeks, July 2008 12 weeks and Jan. 2009 (Eptopic) 5 weeks.

Here is a great website about it:
https://secure2.convio.net/res/site/SPageServer?pagename=evt_niaw09_home&JServSessionIdr010=0almblrhv1.app45b

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Pregnancy Loss and Miscarriage Myths

Having 4 miscarriages... I have often wondered there is something I have done wrong... or something was terribly wrong with my body or what not. So I went out searching for answers. Here is a good list of things that DO NOT casue miscarriages or pregnancy loss. In my opinion, the most important message is that YOU did not make it happen. No matter what.

There are a lot of myths that surround pregnancy loss. To better understand pregnancy loss, it's important to understand the things that don't cause a woman to miscarry.

Miscarriages in early pregnancy are not caused by:

exercising
working
travelling
having sex
eating the "wrong" food
drinking alcohol (but don't if you know you are pregnant)
morning sickness
using birth control pills before or after you got pregnant
a fall, a blow or a fright
stress or worry
wondering whether or not you wanted the baby
having previously had an abortion.

It's important to remember that these factors do not cause pregnancy loss in the first 12 weeks - despite some popular beliefs to the contrary. It's also important to remember that, as heartbreaking as it is, pregnancy loss is not uncommon. In many cases, it is nature's way of preventing a pregnancy that is not developing as it should.

Infertility Myths.... a collection from internet searches

Here are some info I found on the internet covering lots of different ttpes of myths and questions. One of the most infuriating things I delt with were people telling me "to relax, it will happen".... someone who has said that has never been where an infertility person has been. During treatment especially.... you can think of NOTHING else. I hope this also helps people become more aware of the sensitivity you should use when dealing with a friend who is suffering through infertility.

Infertility is primarily caused by female problems.

Studies show that about 40% of infertility cases are caused by female factors, 40% by male factors and 20% by a combination of both.


Ovulation occurs on Day 14 of a woman's cycle.

That would make birth control, and conception, very easy if it were true. Couples could either avoid intercourse on Day 14 to avoid pregnancy, or have intercourse to become pregnant.

A normal menstrual cycle lasts 28 days.

The normal range for a woman's menstrual cycle is actually anywhere between 24 to 36 days in length.

Worrying about a late period only makes it later.

Stress cannot delay your menstrual period, however it can delay ovulation. The number of days in your luteal phase (time between ovulation and your period) typically will remain constant with each cycle.

A woman can get pregnant only on one day during each cycle.

Although a woman's egg is only viable for 12 to 24 hours, she can actually get pregnant from an act of intercourse that occurs anytime from about five days prior to ovulation to as much as two days after, for a total of about seven possible days to get pregnant.

A woman should wait a minimum of three months after she stops taking birth control pills before trying to conceive.

Birth control pills work by preventing a woman from ovulating through increased hormone levels. The hormone levels start to return to normal almost immediately once you quit taking them and you should begin to ovulate with the very next cycle.

Stress can cause infertility.

Stress does not prevent conception, however, it can delay ovulation by suppressing the hormones needed for it to occur.

It's all in your mind - just relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant! (This was the one that always bothered me the most!)

Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. Although infertility can result in stress, stress cannot cause infertility. Luckily, improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose and treat infertility problems.

The egg is fertilized within the uterus.

Implantation usually occurs in the uterus, but conception actually occurs in the outer third of the fallopian tubes, not in the uterus.

Women stop producing eggs at menopause.

Women are born with over 400,000 eggs, but have nowhere near that many menstrual cycles in their lives. Once a woman reaches menopause, her body stops responding to the hormones that cause the eggs to mature in the ovary and be released.

Wearing boxer shorts and taking cold showers makes men more fertile.

While increased scrotal heat from athletic supporters, tight-fitting underwear and hot tubs can reduce a man's sperm count, there are no proven benefits of keeping the area cold.

If a woman takes fertility drugs to help conceive, she'll end up having twins or triplets.

Although fertility drugs can increase the chances of having a multiple pregnancy, the majority of women taking them have single births.

Ovulation occurs on the day of the drop or the day of the rise in your BBT chart.

Actually, the exact day of ovulation cannot be determined by the basal body temperature. By the time the temperature has risen, ovulation has already occurred and since the egg can live for 12-24 hours, the temperature alone is not a good indicator of when you actually ovulated.

Vaginal secretions indicate that you have an infection.

Vaginal secretions are natural and healthy and once a woman understands what it is and when to expect it, she will realize that it is a sign of fertility and not an infectious discharge in need of treatment or douching.

If a man is sexually virile, he will have a normal sperm count.

In reality, men with normal sex drives may have no sperm at all and vice versa as there is no correlation between virility and fertility.

Sperm can only live for several hours.

In fertile quality cervical fluid, sperm can actually survive for up to five days in a woman's reproductive system.


Myth: It's easy to get pregnant.

For many people, it's not easy. Yet, friends and family often still put undue pressure on couples with the "what's wrong with you?" syndrome.

Myth: Having sex every day will increase our chances of conceiving.

The truth is that timing sex during the most fertile days of a woman's monthly cycle will increase your chances — not how many times you have sex. Generally, the best time to try to conceive is during the 11 - 17th days of a woman's menstrual cycle based on a 28-day cycle. Since a man's sperm can live for 48 - 72 hours in a woman's reproductive tract, intercourse every other day during this period is recommended. A study found no difference in pregnancy rates between couples that had sex daily and those who had sex every other day.[1]

Myth: A woman's menstrual cycle begins when she starts spotting.

Close, but wrong. If you're trying to time intercourse, it's critical to identify the first day of your reproductive cycle. Start counting on the first day of normal bleeding or full flow, not when spotting begins. Being off by just a day or two can make a big difference.

Myth: A woman can't get pregnant if she doesn't have an orgasm.

Getting pregnant has nothing to do with a woman having an orgasm. Conception occurs when a man's sperm fertilizes a woman's egg.

Myth: I can wait until I'm 40 to conceive.

When you choose to start a family is up to you. But as you make your decision, you should be aware of some basic fertility facts. A man's fertility drops after age 35.[2] A healthy woman at age thirty has about a 20% chance per month of conceiving. By the time she reaches forty, her chances drop to about 5% per month.[3]

Getting pregnant — at any age — is not an automatic. And as you get older, it may become increasingly difficult to conceive - despite all the stories you've heard in the media. Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive after regular, unprotected intercourse after 12 months (or 6 months if a woman is over 35). It's important to talk to a healthcare provider whenever you're concerned about your ability to conceive. Some people talk with their Primary Care Physician, others with an OB/GYN, and some go directly to a Fertility Specialist, also called a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). Find a Fertility Specialist, Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE), in your area.

Myth: We've already had one child, so conceiving again will be easy.

Perhaps, but it's no guarantee. Many Americans experience secondary infertility, or difficulty conceiving a second or subsequent child. This problem is often caused by age-related factors.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Wonderful news!!!

When ever someone got pregnant on one of my message boards, we called them TTC Grads. Well, we officially have a graduate.... times two! My wonderful friend and sorority sister Amber has become a TTC grad.... and she is having two babies!!!!!!! Twins are in her belly baking away at 15 weeks. I am so thrilled I cannot put it into words!!! They are pretty sure they are fraternal because they have their own placentas. I ask you to join me in praying for Amber and her beautiful babies and keep them as well as Amber safe and healthy.

Amber - I am thrilled for you and your miracle babies and I am so happy this finally happened for you TIMES TWO!!!!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

More prayers and thoughts needed

I just found out last night tht Preston and I's friend Tamika and her husband Gesner lost their baby at 19 weeks on Thursday. I dont know the details yet, but it had something to do with an infection. Tamika is still in the hospital fighting the infection that took her baby. Please send loads and loads of prayers their way. I know some of our followers have had to endure this awful situation, so please please think of Tamika and pray that God grants her and Gesner some peace in this horrible time. Thanks!

Sometimes it seems to pour down when one thing happens, but I am still very hopeful for our sweet Mamas that are having such a hard time getting pregnant as well as our Mamas that are dealing with the loss of a baby. I dont always think it is fair, but after all is said and done, God will guide you to where you are supposed to be in life.

I think a lot about Janna (http://randyandjanna.blogspot.com/) in this situation who lost her sweet baby at 17 weeks and accredits her angel with saving the life of her next baby decause of the manner she lost her angel. If she had not lost her angel she would have not known of her issue with her cervix dialting on its own and was able to have a successful cerlage (sewing the cervix shut) and has her baby boy Kason who is happy and healthy and almost 8 months!

Lots of love, baby dust, peace and prayers to all my girls.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Sending out love and prayers

I was saddened to hear another one of our blog followers has lost her first baby, she is not ready to discuss it yet, since it is too recent. I am so sorry for your loss and want you to know please take the time you need to grieve. You are very loved and surrounded. Take all the time you need, when you are ready, I am here.

It is hard for people who have not lost a baby during pregnancy to understand the feeling that surrounds it as well as the people that surround you. There is never the perfect thing to say or do. Just make sure they know you love them and are there for them whenever they need you. After my second miscarriage, I began to notice how "taboo" people considered a pregnancy loss. To me, that was ridiculous. It implies that it should be secretive or almost guilty. Obviously, none of that is true, but it is a very difficult thing to figure out in your head. Everyone does it differently.

Please know my dear friend that I love you very much and are here when you are ready and I hate that you are going through this. I would not wish it upon even a sworn enemy. I love you.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Egg donation and Suragacy

I am so proud to learn that one of my beautiful friends from college has gotten into the selfless act of egg donation. She goes to an agency that does egg donation and Suragacy. She has gracefully offered to talk to anyone who would need more information on the topic and has a lot of contacts in the agency all over the country. Her egg donation has allowed couples to conceive through IVF if their specific issue is indentified.

If anyone would like to contact her to get information or even just to talk, she would be happy to discuss anything about the process with you:) Just shoot me an email and I will contact her for you.

Say a little prayer for her.... she is about to do an egg transfer in another state... we want NO OVULATION... until the eggs are retreived!

So proud of you girl!

Did you hear that a woman in California just gave birth the OCTUPLETS!!!

Yep, 8 babies.... I am stunned. Of course the article on MSN said that they would not discuss if tey used fertility treatments.... but I dont think any woman ovulates 8 eggs at once on her own! But I could be wrong.

SHe literally had a litter! I dont think there is one of us out there that has had to take fertility drugs that did not have that vision in thier head when they went for their first ultrasound.... I was pretty scared of high order multiples... but thank goodness God gave me two healthy babies... seperately :P

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Not sure how "legit" this is, but it is worth a try... as well as some other links

I found this site about an Infertility Charity on line that can supposedly assist with treatment in some way. I wanted to post it in case anyone wanted to check it out, I apologize, I did not have time to test it myself, but if it does work - that would be GREAT!!!

http://www.free-ivf.com/contact.asp

Also some information about payment plans, loans and insurance:

Loans
http://www.capitalonehealthcarefinance.com/fertility/default.asp

http://fertility-truth.com/

Payment Options
http://www.fertilitylifelines.com/paying/alternatives/index.jsp#

http://www.arcfertility.com/infertility/what_is_infertility.html

Also - in my experience, many Reproductive offices have medicine donation programs for women to give and receive from. You can donate your unused medication if you become pregnant and other women can benefit from your kindness if they simply cannot afford the expence. I was able to donate come Clomid as well as one unused pen of Gonal F. There are of course restrictions on both ends, but I wanted to put that out there since we did not know about it for quite some time:)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

A cool article about helping a friend through a miscarriage

STEP 1: Talk openly with her. Tell her you care about her and want to be there for her during this sad and lonely time. Tell her that even though you may not know exactly what she’s going through, you want to be there for her. Try not to feel awkward about this. Be willing to talk about the “hard” topics and let her express her feelings openly without criticism.

STEP 2: Don’t try to give generic advice. If you haven’t gone through this experience yourself, you really have no idea what she is feeling. Don’t assume you know and don’t quote other people by saying things like, “It will work out” or, “It’s for the best” or other common advice.

STEP 3: Be there. Even if she doesn’t want to talk or “let you in” on what’s going on inside her head, just be willing to sit with her. Go to the hospital with her if she wants you there during the procedure. Or visit her in the hospital afterward or at her home.

STEP 4: Send her notes of encouragement and little gifts. Sending flowers is a wonderful idea because most people don’t think of sending them unless a healthy baby is born. But this time, the flowers are to celebrate the mom getting through this hard time and to let her know she’s not alone.

STEP 5: Listen to verbal and nonverbal messages your friend is sending. Sometimes it’s hard to ask a friend to just sit with you, so offer to do that for your friend. Tell her that you want to just hang out with her, if she wants some company.

STEP 6: Don’t forget. Just because the process is over doesn’t mean the emotional pain is. Be sure to stay in contact with your friend in the following weeks. Call her, send her emails, notes and offer to bring her a meal to help her through the healing process.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Going back to the doc today.

Hi girls. I am feeling much better and am very hopeful that I will not need another hit of the meds or surgery. I feel strong that surgery is out because the pain has decreased which I assume means the baby is getting smaller. It feels very werid and almost wrong to try and "shrink" the baby away.... granted I know a baby cannot live in a tube... but it still feels uneasy to me. I am thankful I did not see the heartbeat or anything like that in my 3 ultrasounds this go round. To be honest... I am having trouble making sense of this. You know how you are holding a balloon and it just slips out of your hands and goes up to the sky and heavens... well, that is what I would compare this too. Except, I barely even held the balloon....

But we will see what today brings.

On another note I would like to extend condolences to one of our followers who recently suffered another miscarriage. I love you girl. Let me know if you want me to post the story on here, if not, prayers coming your way and I am so sorry for your loss.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Yesterday.....

Not sure where to start. I went to the doctor yesterday for follow up on my hedaches and also to check a pain in my right side I had had since the night before. I was sent to by OB to check what my general doc said was a cyst. So, off I went with Kaiya in tow. They asked for a urine sample and Kaiya and I walked into the room and sat down.... then the doctor walked in and said "Congrats!".... I looked at him as if he were in the wrong room, because I am on birth control. I nearly fainted. SO off to the U/S room we went to see how far along I was.... I still had not processed anything at this point. As soon as they put in the probe, I knew something was wrong.... I am certainly not a stranger to ultrasounds and I have gotten pretty good at recognising certain things. First this I noticed right away was pain from the probe, then I saw my uterus and it was compltely empty. My doc said, I bet you are too ealy and explained to him I was at least 5 weeks and I know enough that you should see a least a small black circle. So then everything got serious.... finally the doctor confirmed the baby was in my right tube and am (was?) 5 week pregnant with a baby that could not live in my tube. Thank goodness he could not detect a heartbeat, because that would have devasgted me knowing what the next step would be. We then went back to his office, me and Kaiya who was pretty scared at this point because of all the seriouness. He explained what I already knew and that they had to either shrink the baby down using a chemotherapy drug or do surgery to remove my right tube complteley. I decided to go with the Methatrexate (sp?) and lots of anti nausea drugs. Went and had another scan just to check everthing and then more instruction and a follow up appointment was scheduledfor Friday to make sure the baby had shrunk down properly and not have surgery.
An hour and 45 minutes later I left... with my 2 year old in hand asking a lot of questions and clinging to me because she knew I was scared. I went to get Cassie at my sister's where my Mom and Em were anxiously awaiting me. It was wonderful to sit and talk with them about everything. Poor Preston was at work, he is still new, so there was no way he could come, we frantically texted back and forth as everything unfolded.

So now it is today, I am feeling terrible from the medicine - complete and total respect for anyone that has to go through Chemotherapy... I had one small shot of it... that is it and I am whining. I am pretty tired, but more then anything confused. I will know what comes next as of Friday.

God works in very strange ways.... I will not pretend to understand.... but there is a reason! I am sure of it. ove to all.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Massive Blog Blackout!

I apologize for the amount of time that has past since the last post, my husband was on vacation and then in the hospital for panchreatis. All is well now, just getting back on line!! I will have more info to post soon!

Love and babydust to all:)

PS... congrats to one of my followers that recetnly became pregnant after a long wait!!! Once she is telling everyone I will get her on here.... but for now loads of sticky vibes and prayers headed her way until she gets through the first trimester!!!!