Yesterday.....

Not sure where to start. I went to the doctor yesterday for follow up on my hedaches and also to check a pain in my right side I had had since the night before. I was sent to by OB to check what my general doc said was a cyst. So, off I went with Kaiya in tow. They asked for a urine sample and Kaiya and I walked into the room and sat down.... then the doctor walked in and said "Congrats!".... I looked at him as if he were in the wrong room, because I am on birth control. I nearly fainted. SO off to the U/S room we went to see how far along I was.... I still had not processed anything at this point. As soon as they put in the probe, I knew something was wrong.... I am certainly not a stranger to ultrasounds and I have gotten pretty good at recognising certain things. First this I noticed right away was pain from the probe, then I saw my uterus and it was compltely empty. My doc said, I bet you are too ealy and explained to him I was at least 5 weeks and I know enough that you should see a least a small black circle. So then everything got serious.... finally the doctor confirmed the baby was in my right tube and am (was?) 5 week pregnant with a baby that could not live in my tube. Thank goodness he could not detect a heartbeat, because that would have devasgted me knowing what the next step would be. We then went back to his office, me and Kaiya who was pretty scared at this point because of all the seriouness. He explained what I already knew and that they had to either shrink the baby down using a chemotherapy drug or do surgery to remove my right tube complteley. I decided to go with the Methatrexate (sp?) and lots of anti nausea drugs. Went and had another scan just to check everthing and then more instruction and a follow up appointment was scheduledfor Friday to make sure the baby had shrunk down properly and not have surgery.
An hour and 45 minutes later I left... with my 2 year old in hand asking a lot of questions and clinging to me because she knew I was scared. I went to get Cassie at my sister's where my Mom and Em were anxiously awaiting me. It was wonderful to sit and talk with them about everything. Poor Preston was at work, he is still new, so there was no way he could come, we frantically texted back and forth as everything unfolded.

So now it is today, I am feeling terrible from the medicine - complete and total respect for anyone that has to go through Chemotherapy... I had one small shot of it... that is it and I am whining. I am pretty tired, but more then anything confused. I will know what comes next as of Friday.

God works in very strange ways.... I will not pretend to understand.... but there is a reason! I am sure of it. ove to all.