A cool article about helping a friend through a miscarriage

STEP 1: Talk openly with her. Tell her you care about her and want to be there for her during this sad and lonely time. Tell her that even though you may not know exactly what she’s going through, you want to be there for her. Try not to feel awkward about this. Be willing to talk about the “hard” topics and let her express her feelings openly without criticism.

STEP 2: Don’t try to give generic advice. If you haven’t gone through this experience yourself, you really have no idea what she is feeling. Don’t assume you know and don’t quote other people by saying things like, “It will work out” or, “It’s for the best” or other common advice.

STEP 3: Be there. Even if she doesn’t want to talk or “let you in” on what’s going on inside her head, just be willing to sit with her. Go to the hospital with her if she wants you there during the procedure. Or visit her in the hospital afterward or at her home.

STEP 4: Send her notes of encouragement and little gifts. Sending flowers is a wonderful idea because most people don’t think of sending them unless a healthy baby is born. But this time, the flowers are to celebrate the mom getting through this hard time and to let her know she’s not alone.

STEP 5: Listen to verbal and nonverbal messages your friend is sending. Sometimes it’s hard to ask a friend to just sit with you, so offer to do that for your friend. Tell her that you want to just hang out with her, if she wants some company.

STEP 6: Don’t forget. Just because the process is over doesn’t mean the emotional pain is. Be sure to stay in contact with your friend in the following weeks. Call her, send her emails, notes and offer to bring her a meal to help her through the healing process.